Monday, November 20, 2006

If you don't laugh at this...

My dad sent this to me in an email this past weekend. I just read it today at work and had to share!

Amazing Home Remedies

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache.
8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
10. SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES.......... THEY ARE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT..... THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS

5 fellow footsteps:

masgblog said...

These are too funny. Thx for stopping by the booger site. I am sure that there are other methods, but I'd have to search. Not!

Skittles said...

I had a friend from my IRC days who said why buy a slinky to watch it tumble down the stairs? She said she could watch her grandpa do that for free :)

Mike said...

LOL, are you sure you didn't hear the "sink" method from Barb??? lol

sarala said...

I like #10. Made me laugh.

Dirk_Star said...

What?

I use the gems of wisdom each and every day.